Wedding pressure to look perfect

Lifestyle
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I am getting incredibly excited: my wedding is 3 months away. It really is a special time, planning and preparing and spending quality moments with the people I love.

And I can honestly say that I have remained a very calm and present bride-to-be. I haven’t allowed the little details to stress me. I haven’t been controlling – which is a huge accomplishment considering what a perfectionist I am! I have surrendered to it and have had full trust that the day will be all I have ever wished for.

However – I would be lying if I said I haven’t put pressure on myself to look and feel my best for the day.

The old Jess creeps back in sometimes. I can be so mean to myself! That old mentality starts putting all kinds of rules restrictions on myself – in the pursuit of perfection. Which is funny (and frustrating) because I have certainly learned that perfection does not exist.

Still, the old perfectionist in me puts ideas in my head. Things like:

  • No alcohol for 6 month – JESS! (Needless to say, this totally backfired)
  • Pressure to sleep well every night – backfired! In fact, when I try to force this I find I don’t sleep well at all
  • Pressure to exercise a little more than usual
  • Not treating myself like I normally would with foods I enjoy
  • Silly thoughts like “Jess, you should have almond milk in your coffee instead of your favorite full cream milk….”

And what is the funny thing about all of this? What I know for sure?

RESTRICTION BACKFIRES.

When I put all these pressures on myself, my body gets filled with stress. And I find I actually want those things, like alcohol or extra indulgent foods, more and drive my mind crazy over them – whereas before I placed those restrictions on myself, I didn’t give them much thought at all.

See, my mind obsesses over it. And this is NOT healthy.

My body functions best when there is less stress and pressure. I am my healthiest when I surrender to being imperfect.

But restriction + deprivation = obsession = stress = unhealthy relationship with food.

This is the old me.

These days I choose to be kind to myself, not cruel. Can you do the same?

Fortunately this is a very rare moment for me. This mindset used to be my everyday occurrence. Now these anxieties pop up only every now and then – and I feel I have the tools in my toolbox to DEAL with these. I talk a lot about how I got to this place in my book, The Healthy Life.

These day I choose to be kind to myself, not cruel. The fact is that the wedding has been a little triggering and I feel so grateful I have this blog to express these IMPERECT feelings. Because I am not 100% perfect or 100% healed. I am still on the journey, and I know you are too. We are in this together. Supporting each other.

Here for you!

 

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Hi Jessica, I believe in synchronicity so when I was guided to you .on FB I was intrigued and inspired. I turned 46 last week and my husband bought me your book. I wanted to thank you for sharing your wisdom in such a beautifully presented way. My  copy is now filled with tabs and post it notes with actual notes throughout. I am dairy intolerant since having my gallbladder removed 15+ years ago, I don't eat meat, very minimal gluten and was told 12 months ago my gut was not digesting my food properly so I wasn't receiving sufficient nutrients and taking supplements would be a waste of time.  My weight fluctuates tending to gain rather than lose but now I believe I have a tool to help me bring my body back into balance that I need for my health and longevity of life - so again thank you. The first few steps to creating a stronger path forward for my health has found its foundation in your beautiful book, The Healthy Life.

With kindest regards Samantha

I'm writing this email because I wanted to tell you how much I love your blog and how you really helped me in my health journey. Thank you for sharing all your advices and experiences.

When I started my studies, I was drinking lots of coffee and I was eaten the wrong foods, and feel bad about it, I wasn't at my best. So I had done some research on the net but at first I didn't found advices that are for me, and then I found your blog. It was exactly what I was looking for, good advices and healthy recipes. Now I'm following your advices on rest more, and snacks between meals and prep the meals and take time for myself to reconnect with my body and let go my anxiety, etc, and I have a more balanced life and have a new relationship with food thanks to you.

I bought your book and it's honestly the best book I have ever bought. I suffer from IBS and anxiety. I have paid so much money seeing naturopaths however after reading your book and all of your tips I'm noticing so much of a difference, so simple and easy to follow. And symptoms have dramatically decreased. Also you have helped me to relax. Currently drinking the protein health smoothie! Thankyou your amazing.

@maddy_walters

Hey Jessica!
I haven’t yet brought ‘The Healthy Life’, but I do have the clean life and your slim down plan! I would like to thank you so much for the knowledge your share and the message you put across about health and wellness. I’m studying Nutritional Medicine in Melbourne and absolutely love the philosophy that you share with your JSHealth community. The work you’ve done to show people that leading a healthy lifestyle isn’t boring, tasteless, difficult or depriving is amazing and hope to share the message myself one day. You’ve inspired me to start my own blog , to share the message and have taught me so many things about my own health! You should be proud of your achievements! Thank you again

- Jacinta

I searched for help and tips through the Internet and found Jessica Sepel. This is seriously not exaggerated, but she was the reason why I have dared myself to eat again, to have snacks in between, to nourish my body. I could slowly improve my negative thoughts about my body image and my stupid anxiety of gaining weight. Besides, The Cleanest Gut was awesome too! A huge thank you! Especially from my mum. Seriously, without you I wouldn’t be where I am now!

@mariashealthytaste

Congratulations on your new book! It looks absolutely gorgeous. I’ve been following you on Instagram for a few years and you’ve inspired me to slowly but surely eat healthier without giving myself a hard time when I don’t. It made me so happy (and weirdly proud) to see the Daily Mail article on The Healthy Life. I remember trying out your recipes before you even had your eBook out! I can’t wait to get my hands on the book. Keep up the great work.

– Sophie

Cooking in this way truly brought out the foodie in me and has instilled a huge passion for health and wellness! Life throws you hard and frustrating things sometimes but I truly believe that this is where we learn more about ourselves and what our passions in life are! Thank you for inspiring me on my journey to health and wellness!

@freed_from_foodie

I am a yoga teacher in Johannesburg and am thrilled to have bought your book today. I love making healthy, nutritious food for my family, friends and fellow yogis! Thank you for this book and your inspiration (had to share a pic of my book on my recipe stand in the kitchen).

– Helene

I bought your beautiful book during the week and told my bestie to go out and buy it also! I love love love it. It is the book I would give to my younger self if I could (I am 41 years old). Everything is just so sensible and informative and is definitely a book all teenagers should have. This should be a text book for girls becoming teens. I will love going back and re-reading it many many times and can't wait to make more of the recipes. Thank you Jess - you are an incredibly inspiring woman and you should feel so proud

Michelle Curtis

My fiancé bought your book and we have cooked some of your meals. Amazing! I love your outlook on a healthy lifestyle and your hints and tips with preparing tasty meals are fantastic. Thanks for reviving us to live a healthier lifestyle and get our bodies wedding ready.

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