A Simple Way to Ditch the Green-Eyed Monster

Lifestyle
jealousy

I’ve come to realize a really simple yet profound truth: being happy for others attracts more happiness and success into my own life.

I mean being genuinely, truly excited for people’s accomplishments. Even – and especially – when my first instinct might be jealousy.

Easier said than done? How do you ditch the inevitable “green-eyed monster” once and for all?

Honestly, I’ve always been comfortable celebrating the achievements of others.

While there have been many things I have had to work through in therapy, jealousy isn’t really a problem. Perhaps my darling mother and father instilled this in me. We were taught from a young age that nothing good comes from jealousy, but we were also taught that supporting others only adds value to your own life. Perhaps up until now I have been too immature to actually appreciate how powerful this is.

Over the last 2 years I have been blogging amount my journey. It happened from a very organic place – I had no idea it would turn into my own business. Sneaky secret: I am the least competitive person you could ever meet. As soon as I sense competition…I run away! I am not interested in beating and being better than others.

But I haven’t completely overcome envy. I have moments of “Jess, you need to step your blog up a notch like that one,” or “Your Instagram needs to look as polished as hers,” or “Why aren’t you doing this and that…Jess! You are not good enough.”

Jealously makes us nasty. And those feelings of jealousy have never served me. 

I wanted to share this post because there have been two very different scenarios that I face daily as JSHealth grows.

1. People who are so incredibly happy and supportive of me and my work. They flood my inbox and phone with messages. I often find myself tearing up from  immense gratitude!

2. And others who aren’t happy for me. I will hear through the grapevine that so and so has said something nasty about my work….they try to pull me down by talking gossip or criticizing what I do.

People from the JSHealth community and my personal clients are often surprised that I encourage and support their own careers in the health industry. I know how important being supportive is for the success of my own life.

When I think about people who are supportive of other, I realize that they seem grounded. So happy within themselves; at peace. They have their own success in their own way. There is not need for them to pull anyone else down.

The other group of people…well. I bless them with love because they’re going through their own journeys of pain and insecurity. They feel good by criticizing others because the happiness overwhelms them and brings up too much pain.

It hurts when your loved ones can’t be happy for you, doesn’t it? But we must shift our focus and view the situation differently. Over time, I’ve learned not to take it personally. Instead, I feel empathy. It has nothing to do with me.

So I release it. Let it go. Shake it off.  (Thanks, Taylor Swift.)

And guess what. I believe that attitude is what brings them more happiness and success. Honestly.

I see it with myself. If I have moments of competing or toxic jealous feelings….I actually attract negative situations to my life. It’s fascinating what it does. When I am feeling negative or jealous, it weighs heavily on me and my work. I have to shift my focus and choose to learn from it. Instead I will think, “wow that person is inspiring,” or if I don’t have any good thoughts, I just don’t waste my time thinking about it. Because at the end of the day, it only takes away from me as a person.

And it’s exhausting! It takes away from energy I could be using in much better ways – like taking care of myself, or my family, or my business.

The minute I choose to see that person as inspiring and feel happy for them…wow! My universe expands with overflowing positivity.

So I invite you to think about being happy for others.

Change your focus, and consider your own life. Put that energy into your success instead. Because not being happy for others takes effort!

I am confident that when you make this shift, you will start to notice incredible beauty and opportunities arise in your own life.

Give it a go – and see the magic!

This also seemed like the perfect opportunity to thank those who have been so incredibly supportive. You allow me to do what I love to do. You have helped heal me. I will be forever grateful.

 

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TESTIMONIALS

Hi Jessica, I believe in synchronicity so when I was guided to you .on FB I was intrigued and inspired. I turned 46 last week and my husband bought me your book. I wanted to thank you for sharing your wisdom in such a beautifully presented way. My  copy is now filled with tabs and post it notes with actual notes throughout. I am dairy intolerant since having my gallbladder removed 15+ years ago, I don't eat meat, very minimal gluten and was told 12 months ago my gut was not digesting my food properly so I wasn't receiving sufficient nutrients and taking supplements would be a waste of time.  My weight fluctuates tending to gain rather than lose but now I believe I have a tool to help me bring my body back into balance that I need for my health and longevity of life - so again thank you. The first few steps to creating a stronger path forward for my health has found its foundation in your beautiful book, The Healthy Life.

With kindest regards Samantha

I'm writing this email because I wanted to tell you how much I love your blog and how you really helped me in my health journey. Thank you for sharing all your advices and experiences.

When I started my studies, I was drinking lots of coffee and I was eaten the wrong foods, and feel bad about it, I wasn't at my best. So I had done some research on the net but at first I didn't found advices that are for me, and then I found your blog. It was exactly what I was looking for, good advices and healthy recipes. Now I'm following your advices on rest more, and snacks between meals and prep the meals and take time for myself to reconnect with my body and let go my anxiety, etc, and I have a more balanced life and have a new relationship with food thanks to you.

I bought your book and it's honestly the best book I have ever bought. I suffer from IBS and anxiety. I have paid so much money seeing naturopaths however after reading your book and all of your tips I'm noticing so much of a difference, so simple and easy to follow. And symptoms have dramatically decreased. Also you have helped me to relax. Currently drinking the protein health smoothie! Thankyou your amazing.

@maddy_walters

Hey Jessica!
I haven’t yet brought ‘The Healthy Life’, but I do have the clean life and your slim down plan! I would like to thank you so much for the knowledge your share and the message you put across about health and wellness. I’m studying Nutritional Medicine in Melbourne and absolutely love the philosophy that you share with your JSHealth community. The work you’ve done to show people that leading a healthy lifestyle isn’t boring, tasteless, difficult or depriving is amazing and hope to share the message myself one day. You’ve inspired me to start my own blog , to share the message and have taught me so many things about my own health! You should be proud of your achievements! Thank you again

- Jacinta

I searched for help and tips through the Internet and found Jessica Sepel. This is seriously not exaggerated, but she was the reason why I have dared myself to eat again, to have snacks in between, to nourish my body. I could slowly improve my negative thoughts about my body image and my stupid anxiety of gaining weight. Besides, The Cleanest Gut was awesome too! A huge thank you! Especially from my mum. Seriously, without you I wouldn’t be where I am now!

@mariashealthytaste

Congratulations on your new book! It looks absolutely gorgeous. I’ve been following you on Instagram for a few years and you’ve inspired me to slowly but surely eat healthier without giving myself a hard time when I don’t. It made me so happy (and weirdly proud) to see the Daily Mail article on The Healthy Life. I remember trying out your recipes before you even had your eBook out! I can’t wait to get my hands on the book. Keep up the great work.

– Sophie

Cooking in this way truly brought out the foodie in me and has instilled a huge passion for health and wellness! Life throws you hard and frustrating things sometimes but I truly believe that this is where we learn more about ourselves and what our passions in life are! Thank you for inspiring me on my journey to health and wellness!

@freed_from_foodie

I am a yoga teacher in Johannesburg and am thrilled to have bought your book today. I love making healthy, nutritious food for my family, friends and fellow yogis! Thank you for this book and your inspiration (had to share a pic of my book on my recipe stand in the kitchen).

– Helene

I bought your beautiful book during the week and told my bestie to go out and buy it also! I love love love it. It is the book I would give to my younger self if I could (I am 41 years old). Everything is just so sensible and informative and is definitely a book all teenagers should have. This should be a text book for girls becoming teens. I will love going back and re-reading it many many times and can't wait to make more of the recipes. Thank you Jess - you are an incredibly inspiring woman and you should feel so proud

Michelle Curtis

My fiancé bought your book and we have cooked some of your meals. Amazing! I love your outlook on a healthy lifestyle and your hints and tips with preparing tasty meals are fantastic. Thanks for reviving us to live a healthier lifestyle and get our bodies wedding ready.

@jungle1978